Thirty Years of Mercy Oral History Project
Maggie Baucom
Interview 007 3/26/21Interviewers:
Dr. Daniel Hutchinson, Dr. Mary Ellen WeirBiographical Note:
Maggie Baucom served as the Chair of the Board of Directors for the House of Mercy, providing oversight and guidance for the operations of the ministry.
Daniel Hutchinson [DH]: Hello, my name is Daniel Hutchinson, and this is
interview 06 for the House of Mercy Oral History Project. I have the pleasure today to be interviewing Maggie Baucom to talk about her experience at House of Mercy. And Maggie, if you could tell us a little bit about your background and your experience and how is it you came to become part of the story of House of Mercy?Maggie Baucom [MB]: Okay. Well, I am a graduate of Sacred Heart College,
from 1975. And I knew Ellen Weir then, I haven't seen her since. So, it's nice to see Ellen again. My husband and I left Charlotte soon after, we left about in 1982, and went to Richmond, Virginia, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Apex, North Carolina, and then ended up back in Charlotte. And I had been back in Charlotte, probably five or eight years maybe, and I was doing a lot of volunteer work for hospice. I had a ministry at my church for the hospice organization here. And I had given a talk at church. And a friend of mine, Bob Hall, came up to me after the talk and said, I'm on the board at House of Mercy, would you have any interest in serving?" And of course, I knew Holy Angels, because I went to [Sacred Heart] college, I was a special education major. And I was at Holy Angels every week volunteering, so I knew Holy Angels well, but I wasn't familiar with House of Mercy. So, I said, "Well, I'm certainly interested, I would love to be involved out there." And it just so happens that Sister Pauline had just recently passed away. And Sister Pauline had a huge impact on my life at Sacred Heart. And I saw this opportunity as sort of divine...a way for me to give back to the Sisters, for all that Sister Pauline had done for me in my younger life. So, the timing was perfect for me to get involved.DH: That's wonderful. What was your first experience going to House of Mercy and meeting maybe the staff or the residents, when you first came to House of Mercy what did you sort of expect? And how did that encounter meet or defy those expectations?
MB: Well, I was very anxious because I didn't feel I was a board candidate. Like I didn't feel I had the professional expertise to serve on a board. So, I was pretty anxious about it. But I started out by meeting Stan Patterson, and
immediately was just entranced. He is a gentle giant, very endearing and made me feel very comfortable. And after spending an hour with him, we went down to the residence. And of course, I got to meet Shirley Stowe, who is Catherine McAuley reincarnated to me. So, I was just absolutely hook, line and sinker the first day. Whether I had the skills or not, I knew my heart was there. So, I was there. And I told Stan that from the beginning, I'm not sure I'm candidate for board material. But my heart is here. And I love the mission. I love the ministry because it's a Sisters of Mercy ministry. A big part of my life was on that campus. And for me to be able to give back right there was a dream come true. I felt like I had come full circle. It was beautiful.Mary Ellen Weir [MW]: Could I interject just something. Maggie, you said the word heart. And so many people we've interviewed had used that term to describe House of Mercy in their first encounter there.... It's a running theme....Daniel, sorry, I had to interject.
DH: No, I think that's great. And it's true. So many people in seeing
the house for the first time have different expectations about what a residential care facility or hospice facility is going to be thinking very much in medical terms or clinical terms, but then terms like home and heart do come to mind.MB: I can remember when Stan took me down there. In the lobby, it is
still there, I think, is the picture that doctor...Oh gosh. What is his name, the doctor who served on the board, and he painted a picture? And it has a heart and the hands around it. And I saw that picture and it just captivated me. I just thought, this is just so warm and reflective of what is going on in this house, and I want to be a part of this. And my 10 years there certainly reflected that heart and those hands that are in that picture that you see when you walk in the door. Because it is a just a warm, embracing, nurturing home. It really is, there's no doubt about it.DH: Wonderful. You mentioned you had previous experience working in a hospice environment? If I'm correct?
MB: Yes.
DH: How did those experiences inform or shape your service on the board and helping House of Mercy with their future?
MB: I would say it had an impact, but indirectly, because doing hospice work and actually sitting bedside with patients is a different role than oversight, which I provided with House of Mercy. But I will say some of my favorite memories of House of Mercy, our board meetings, when Shirley would give her state of the ministry report, and speak to us about each individual resident, and their journey and where they were, what was going on. And that was where you were really drawn in because we weren't an integral part of the day-to-day operations and ministry. So that gave me what I really love, and that insight into these humans, who are so blessed to be in this environment, and so blessed to have the opportunity to be nurtured and loved and treated with dignity and unconditional love that many of them have never known. Celebrated on their birthdays, some of them have never had a birthday party. And they were celebrated for the beauty of who they were. So, we got to see that from a distance, not so much close up. But you got a very clear picture of what exactly went on there, and how it impacted those lives. So, I would say my hospice work was different. But it gave me a compassion and a sense
of what was going on in the House since I wasn't actually involved in that aspect of it.DH: I think you've clearly communicated the joy and the energy
that was a part of this opportunity to help men and women at this vulnerable stage in their lives to help them live better lives and such important work. Can you tell us a little bit about what the nuts and bolts of your work on the board sort of involved to help make this mission and this ministry possible?MB: Well...I spent, I think, seven years as the board chair. And I felt like above and beyond the fiduciary responsibility, that we all have on the board, I felt like my role was a leadership role. To keep that passion, and that mercy alive in our board members on a day-to-day basis. So, it wasn't just coming to a board meeting and having passion about our ministry. It was taking that passion and that mercy that the sisters so eloquently lived in that ministry and so many others that we learned about through our board meetings. It was taking that out into the community, and making sure that we share that beyond House of Mercy. We shared it in our meetings, we made decisions with mercy at the forefront of every decision we made, which was something new to me. You know, normally you just make decisions based on your intellect. Right? What do you think is best, but we were making decisions based on what is the merciful thing to do? What is the decision to make with mercy at the forefront of everything we do. Implementing that in every action we took. As far even as far as hiring and terminating, mercy was always there. So, I felt like I wanted to make sure that fulfillment of mercy went beyond the ministry, out into the greater community and that we lived that mercy beyond House of Mercy. I wanted to make sure that the board members were always passionate about the work we did and took it
seriously. I felt it was important to keep motivating them and modeling for them.DH: In connecting with the community and helping to share that vision of mercy, what sort of challenges and opportunities did you see and helping to share with the broader sort of Belmont or Charlotte area with what was happening in House of Mercy? Opportunities for outreach and communication?
MB: That's an interesting question. And I will say that I am now on the Holy Angels board, an honor beyond description to be on the Holy Angels board. But when I was on the House of Mercy for all those years, I did a lot of fundraising. I was very passionate about fundraising. I hated it at first. I told Stan I would never raise a dollar, it wasn't me, I couldn't do it, I had a lot of tears about it. But I grew into my role. And I did raise money. But it was challenging, because it's not a ministry and a cause that draws people in as easily as a Holy Angels for a St. Jude's. Something that involves children or something that just pulls at your emotions. So, the AIDS stigma from many, many years ago, I think it's pretty much gone. I don't really see it as prevalent in our society. I think it is still so in the Hispanic community, based on my work in House of Mercy and what we did there. I felt like it was still strong in the Hispanic community. But it still was a cause that was difficult to pull people into. They admired the work I did and thought it was wonderful. But I think there were other causes that they were more inclined to be supportive of. They were more supportive of me in the work I did. But it was definitely a difficult perspective to get people on board to. I really do not believe it was just the AIDS stigma. I don't think that was it. I just think it's adults, it's just different. It's different to draw people into something like that. But it is something involving children or animals nowadays, people are crazy about their animals. But it was very fulfilling to me, and very worthwhile and worth all of my efforts. And I wouldn't trade a day of it. Wouldn't trade a day of it. What I learned through that ministry, and from Stan Patterson and Shirley, and Connie...they are just incredible human beings, incredible servant leaders. I can't imagine my life without having known them. I'm such a better person because of them. And I know all of those lives at House of Mercy are better lives because of Shirley and Stan, particularly.
DH: That's really wonderful. And the work that that Stan, Shirley, you and others have done has really made a big difference. And thank you for that. In talking about those challenges of trying to connect with the community, to fundraise, and how the mission of the House of Mercy is different
from other causes that are maybe a little easier to pitch in terms of fundraising. One of the things we're sort of exploring in this history is how perceptions about the ministry has changed over time. So when the Sisters started this in 1991, I mean, where AIDS was, and were sort of perceptions about the gay and lesbian communities. So very different times. So, explaining this story to maybe someone who's younger, who didn't live through this era. How would you sort of describe the attitudes of those times? Or, or how the House of Mercy served men and women, or as you said, how those ideas or perceptions have changed over time? And maybe why that matters? Does that make sense?MB: Yeah...I'm not sure that I personally ever experienced firsthand that stigma. I know about it. But I can't say I was ever afraid of AIDS. I don't know anyone that was. That was probably a time in my life where I was just raising my children. And I was sort of in a bubble. So not exposed to that stigma. I'm
certainly aware of it. And I do really believe that that stigma of AIDS is gone. I did not see it in my years at House of mercy. But I don't feel like I saw it at all, from anyone. Just because someone doesn't have an enthusiasm for a particular cause, doesn't necessarily equate to a stigma about that. You know what I mean? I think people have to weigh what they support. And some things are more important than others.Where I did see it, I will say in the stories that Shirley told, and in some of the residents we had was in the Hispanic community. And the way that Our Lady of Guadalupe just absolutely embraced our ministry. And they have such enthusiasm and passion for our ministry, which just was a beautiful, beautiful thing to witness. I don't know if you're aware of this, but they were always our biggest fundraiser for our walk, which is the only fundraiser we do every year. And outside of one year, I raised more money than they did. But they always raised $9,000 or $10,000. A little Hispanic church. And I will tell you a little secret. They raised that money a quarter at a time. That is a church that doesn't have a lot of money. They don't have a collection. They feed their members, and the priest, what was Father's name, goodness, I even got him to serve on our board for a little while.... He's no longer there. But he had served in Mexico for a long time. And he had a heart for the AIDS community. So he was drawn to our ministry. And he got his parishioners on board. And at the beginning of Lent, he would give all of his families a box that their children would put quarters in at a time. And they raised $9,000 and $10,000, every year, a quarter at a time. Which is, to me one of the most powerful things and they would come to our walk with 150, 200 people going. And those kids would be so excited. And they just embraced our ministry and loved our ministry. And I'm so grateful to that church and to their leadership. Because I can't say we would have been successful many years in our walk without them. It's really a powerful testimony, and their community. And I think Father knew the stigma that was there. And you know, we had some Hispanic residents, and Shirley would tell us the stories about their families abandoning them. So we kind of knew that and for this church to really embrace that was a beautiful thing to see, because that means if it happened in their community they were
going to embrace it there. What more could you hope for? To take that outside of the ministry. That sort of what that message was doing, was taking it outside of the ministry and maybe making someone else's life better, and offering them unconditional love, despite what they know. So that church really is an integral part of our ministry and our fundraising. I don't know if you've talked to anyone from there. There is a young woman there that's sort of been integral in that for many years, and she would probably be a great person to talk to. I also think I still have, gosh, I'm trying to think of what Father's name was. But I can get it to you. He would probably also love to talk to you about the work that he did. It was really so remarkable. And admirable.DH: We would definitely be interested in getting those names. Okay. I will get back. Thank you.
EW: Maggie. Where is that church? Is that the one in Asheville?
MB: No, Our Lady of Guadalupe is sort off Tuckaseegee Road. It's sort of between Belmont and Charlotte.
EW: I gotcha.
MB: Mt. Holly? I don't really know the location. But west of the city. It's a poor church. But they love House of Mercy.
EW: Can I ask with other local churches? I'm sure you get support, but not the same?
MB: No, not the same at all. Holy Trinity has always been wonderful. Their assistant principal is a friend of mine. On "dress down days" she'll have the money donated to House of Mercy. They always donate into our walk. Charlotte Catholic donates to our walk. St. Gabriel's was very generous to me over the years, but we have a new priest and that's gone. That'll never happen again. St. Matthews has been very generous. The other churches are generous, but not that kind of generous. No, not $9,000 or $10,000. I think the last year I was at House of Mercy for the walk, I think Our Lady of Guadalupe might have raised $12,000.
MW: Oh, my goodness.
MB: A quarter at a time.
EW: Wow.
MB: Yeah. It's a beautiful thing.
DH: It's remarkable.
MB: Yeah. It is.
DH: In your work with the community what were sort of the joys and the challenges, what sort of obstacles or struggles or eureka moments made your time on the board really noteworthy or stand out to you?
MB: I think probably mine and anyone who was on the board with me during those years, our most proud moment was when we were struggling with
occupancy. And we develop the charity care policy. And that was a way for us to give back and to live that mercy that the Sisters taught us about by offering a bed to someone who didn't have the funds. So that was definitely my most proud moment, because I was there to vote for that. We came up with the idea and it made a huge difference. And the following, maybe two years later, we added another charity bed. So, we actually got two out of four of the beds were charity beds, how wonderful is that? That's definitely living your mission. So, I would say that was one of my greatest joys. Hearing the stories of the residents, that was always my favorite part, is just hearing how their lives were transformed. How challenging they were outside of the ministry, and how they were impacted by the gifts that were given. And I'm talking gifts of a pair of pants, and unconditional love, someone to listen to them, someone to celebrate their birthday, and above and beyond all of that, the gift of so many of them having a transition to another life in such a peaceful, loving warm environment. As opposed to being on the street or in the hospital with no one by their side. They knew they were loved. And that is an opportunity that if it weren't for House of Mercy, they would have never experienced that. So what a blessing to know that House of Mercy gave that gift to so many people. You just can't put that into words. You can't. But I will say also my favorite moments of House of Mercy, I'm getting myself worked up...I loved working with the board. Stan Patterson, and Shirley, Sister Rosalynn....Sister Rosalynn, she had my heart. What a lovely, lovely soul she was. And we enjoyed her and we learned so much from her on the board. It was so sad when she started to decline a little bit. She had to move on from her role. And then we had sister Jill who is every bit as wonderful. But celebrating the people at the ministry who did the work to impact those lives and to make the ministry what it was, was what was important to me as a leader. To celebrate and appreciate those people. And I loved doing
that. Sister Rosalynn, before she left and this is before she had started to decline....Her mother, I don't know if you are aware of this, but her mother played the organ at the basilica in Wilmington for 52 years. Never got paid. Sister Rosalynn was so proud of that. Her mother raised her well. I did a huge canvas for her with a picture of the organ, a picture of the church, and then a picture of the template that was dedicated to her mom, and her memory and the work she had done there, and gave that to her at a board meeting. It was so beautiful to see sister Rosalynn speechless and so appreciative that we recognized what was so important to her for all the figure given to us, and taught us. And that was just a fun thing.And Stan's 20th anniversary at House of Mercy. We had a big surprise dinner for him and gave him gifts and celebrated him for all that he gave to that ministry. And of course, Sister Rosalynn hired him. So what a gift she gave us also in hiring Stan Patterson. That ministry was what it was because of Stan. He hired Shirley. You know, it was just one miracle, insightful event, to follow one another, to make House of Mercy just absolutely incredible for all of those years and continues to be. I think we're struggling a little with transition and things. But I can remember when I first a board chair, and I was giving a presentation to the Sisters at one of our ministry forums. And I had counted up the years that Stan Patterson, Shirley and Connie, and Margie, who was our development director had combined, and this was probably in 2013, maybe. And they had like 76 years of combined experience at House of Mercy. Four people. Remarkable, just remarkable. And Stan was just an
incredible leader. He had the managerial skills, he had the financial skills, he was a wizard, but above and beyond that he empowered people. He trusted and empowered people and he was nurturing. And he was gentle soul, who he expected perfection. But he got it in a very gentle, encouraging way. So there was never a stone unturned. There was never a way we were going to fail. Because he empowered everyone to succeed, and to fulfill that mission to the highest standard that was possible. Which was a beautiful thing to be a part of. Just absolutely beautiful to watch and be a part of. I'm very grateful for his influence, and for Shirley's influence and Connie's influence. And the Sisters, you know, they set the tone for us.DH: Well, it's clear the Sisters, both through your educational experience and your service with the House of Mercy and now Holy Angels, the tradition the Sisters have created has had a big impact on you personally. And now you're giving back. Could you talk about the leadership or the role or the influence of the Sisters and sort of you talk about mercy being at the heart of everything the board was doing. Can you make some sort of general observations about what the what the sisters meant for your work on the board?
MB: You know, I think it was one of those "w.w.j.d" - "What would Jesus
do" - in everything you did you thought what would the Sisters perception be? How would the Sisters handle this? What would the Sisters want to be at the forefront of this decision? And I think in their transition to oneness, it was more incumbent upon us to believe that we were carrying this ministry forward in their name. So they taught us and they gave us the skills and the knowledge to use the mercy and the unconditional love and the dignity and the respect for human life, and all of those things that were their critical concerns, everything that was important to them to make that important to us in our decision making. And of course, they modeled it. You see it in their ministries, you see in the way they speak, and the way they behave. Certainly, they're not perfect. I would never say that. But I think they strive for living what they preach, more so than I can say, for the population of priests. And that's a terrible thing to say, but I believe that. I feel the Sisters have really lived up to my expectations of their holy life. They put their spiritual life first, and reflected that to me. And so it's given me influence and empowerment to try to do that in my own life.DH: As you as you said earlier, the House of Mercy may be in a moment of transition. The future is always difficult to see. But what might you think could be some future paths for the House of Mercy, maybe staying in AIDS care or branching out into our other areas? I know we live in particularly uncertain times right now and with all the challenges we're facing, but do you have any thoughts about what might be on the road ahead?
MB: Daniel, I wish I could answer that in an articulate way. You know, I spent the last couple of years on the board working on just that. And it was a challenge. I think there's a there's a lot of pieces to that puzzle. I think you can have some aspirations and say wouldn't it be wonderful if we could transition into maybe human trafficking, sex trafficking, or hospice care, just as an example, but it's not that easy. There's a lot of licensing issues, and we're limited in our space, there's a lot of limitations. So it was a really hard issue to address. And I do believe that the board came up with the best possible scenario and trying to branch out into the community and kind of bridge that gap between the community and the residents. I hope that works. I don't have that answer. I wish I did. I wish I did. I wish we could continue to do what we do, and always have six beds full. That would be my dream. That would be my dream to continue to serve AIDS patients, and take people off the streets or out of a hospital room and continue to give them a life of dignity. But I think as antiretroviral drugs continue, and technology continues in science and medicine, our opportunities are going to be less and less. And I don't know. I wish I could answer that better.
DH: That's why we're asking everyone because it's such a challenge. But I think it clearly there's been a lot of thought put into it. And I guess time will tell, and we'll see how circumstances unfold. In us trying to sort of tell your story and the story of House of Mercy. Is there anything we've missed? Or is there any stories or experiences that you think should definitely be part of our chronicle of this moment?
MB: I don't think so. I think we've hit on a lot...It's really a beautiful thing to reflect on the legacy, which is the lives that were impacted by the existence of House of Mercy. And it not only the lives of the residents, but their families who were offered the comfort of seeing their loved one die with dignity. And be offered a home when they didn't have one. Oftentimes a family can't provide that, for whatever reason. But I think we offer that beyond the residents. I think it went on to families in the community. And so, it's a beautiful thing. And if it lasts 32 years, I'm grateful. If it lasts 40, I'm more grateful. But I think what we've done in the last 31 years is truly beautiful and has impacted so many lives. And we have to be grateful for that.
DH: Absolutely. If a new member were to join the board
tomorrow, would you have any advice for them on how to lead, how to serve, any sort of general advice you might offer?MB: I would say, make sure you make the time and have the passion and make the ministry a priority. It's easy because you meet every two months to forget about it. You have to live it. You've truly have to live and breathe it. I will tell you one of my favorite books and I have my book right here. One of my favorite books is Praying with Catherine McAuley. And this prayer I used to read this a lot of board meetings. And I made a copy of this and framed it for every board member before I left the ministry. And this is what I would give to any prospective board member because this is Catherine McAuley giving us the skills we need to accomplish what she saw as the ministry and in our goals for being a part of this ministry. And she said:
"Enveloping God, cloth me with love as a garment. In all of my actions and
interactions may I put on Christ. Wrapping myself in the mantle of mercy and justice may all who encounter me encounter you're warming nurturing love."So beautiful. That is what I learned at House of Mercy. That is what I want to do every day of my life. And I hope that board members can also carry that forward after they serve and as they serve House of Mercy. DH: I have nothing to say that can top that. Ellen, is there any questions or things that you would like to throw into the mix?
EW: Very powerful.
MB: Thank you.
